I saw the fear.
I saw the breakdown.
I saw the overwhelming pain in those big, green eyes.
I saw them fill and overflow.
Were you there to see, too?
I felt the emptiness throughout.
I felt my throat constrict.
I felt fire of betrayal.
I felt the piercing of my shattered heart.
Were you there to console me, to give me a hug?
I thought how.
I thought why.
I thought of all the years and memories made.
I thought of it all over.
Were you there to help me sort through it all, to think?
I said how I felt.
I said without thinking.
I said that I didn’t believe, that I wouldn’t.
I said, and yet I knew it was all true.
Were you there to respond, to say “it’ll all be ok”?
I locked myself away.
I showed no emotion.
I denied it, until I could no longer.
Were you there to help me, pull me from the dark abyss?
No you weren’t.
You weren’t there to see.
You weren’t there to heal.
You weren’t there to reflect.
You weren’t there to respond.
You weren’t there to solve.
You weren’t there.
So why do you think that you can tell me how to see, or how to feel? What to think, say or do?
You CAN’T tell me…